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Samaritans, an ounce of prevention
Listening, not judging
by Elizabeth
Eidlitz
December 31, 2006 —
Carolers sing joy to the world and sleigh bells jingle as folks
head home for the holidays. Yet winter months can be psychologically
menacing for those who feel lonely, depressed, suicidal, or isolated
like the elderly woman who apologized for calling The Samaritans when
she wasn’t suicidal, but said she was all alone in a nursing home and
wanted to wish someone Happy New Year.
“Society tells us we’re supposed to be happy and together,” notes Eileen
Davis, Framingham site director of the merged Boston/Framingham
Samaritans. “The highest incidence of the 80,000 calls we receive each
year come in December, and then in March, when people who feel they’re
meant to be better find they’re not coming out of their depression.” In
2004 there were three times as many suicides as there were homicides.”
The most provided and used help which the Samaritans have offered in
Massachusetts for 32 years is the safe and confidential Befriending
Service, a 24/7 toll free hotline
(508-875-4500)
without caller ID.
“We don’t presume to be experts, advice givers or problem solvers,”
Davis explains. “ Of course we can’t wipe out suicide. But by being
uniquely supportive and empathetic, rather than invasive and judgmental,
we try to prevent the next step, even if just for that moment, by
sharing a load that has become too heavy.
“We’re here 24/7 to give people the opportunity to be heard, and to
respect and validate their feelings-- not to ask what happened, or tell
them they shouldn’t feel that way, or suggest that they can’t mean it.”
The power of trained befriending is evident when a distraught woman,
agitated and in crisis, called to ask what she should do.
“It was hard for the volunteer not to be directive,” says Roberta Hurtig,
Executive Director of the Samaritans, “but she managed to ask, “what
would you like to have happen?” and the caller could say what she
wanted.
“The caller phoned again the next day, and recognized the same
volunteer’s voice. ‘You’re the only one who asked me what I wanted and
it just meant so much to me,’ she said.”
Samaritan volunteers share the ability to be patient, compassionate
listeners. They comprise equal numbers of males and females and
represent a cross section of folks in the community-- retired people,
housewives, business professionals, and students.
Some Brandeis and Framingham State students are part of Samariteens,
teenage volunteers, as young as fifteen, trained to provide helpline
support to peers facing particular challenges of adolescence.
In educational community outreach workshops for schools, professional
groups, civic, religious and social organizations, the Samaritans
identify those at risk for suicide and strategies for suicide prevention
as well as postvention support.
Samaritans facilitate Lifeline, a unique suicide and intervention
program in selected Massachusetts correctional facilities, where
volunteers not only offer direct face-to-face emotional support to
prisoners at risk for suicide, but also select and train prisoners to
listen to their fellow inmates.
Certain emotions are specific to suicide survivors, Davis maintains.
Trained Samaritan volunteers, who are also survivors of suicide,
facilitate “Safe Place” forums where individuals who have lost a loved
one to suicide can grieve and share difficulties.
Survivor- to-Survivor Network provides individuals and families with
befriending support and resource information for those working through
their loss.
The Samaritans always welcome volunteers willing to make a 50 hour time
commitment to training which constitutes a “listening for life”
orientation overview, a series of seven preparation group sessions to
learn about active listening and different types of calls, participation
in skills practice exercises and group discussion, and mentoring during
phone shifts.
Once trained, volunteers, who handle as many as 200 calls a day, are
asked to do a shift of 3 to 4 hours a week with one overnight shift a
month
For more information call (617) 536-2460, or email
VolunteerFramingham@samaritanshope.org and
VolunteerTeens@samaritanshope.org
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